ESCAFLOWNE MUSIC VIDEOS
by Azure4
Summary: Proudly presenting.... Escaflowne music videos, where random characters perform even more random songs. Some cursing and implications in some songs, though many are re-written. r&r!!!
1. The Roof is on Fire

A/N: Random little idea I had whilst listening to this song on the bus. Escaflowne music videos! To recommend a song, put it and the starring character(s) in your review. Ha! So, yes, the first music video is dedicated to. Dilandau!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own the song, Escaflowne, or the Bloodhound gang. I DO own this original idea, so, yeah.  
  
THE ROOF IS ON FIRE: by Dilandau Albatou and the Dragon Slayers  
  
guymelefs are shown zooming away from the Vione. The screen switches to show Dilandau in his Zaibach uniform with the dragon slayers all in navy blue behind him  
  
Dragon Slayers: The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire We don't need no water let the motherfucker burn Burn motherfucker burn  
  
guymelefs are seen flaming Fanelia. Screen switches again to Dilandau  
  
Dilandau: Hello my name is Dilly-chan and I'm a dumb albino guy I'm not old or new but middle school fifth grade like junior high I don't know mofo if y'all peeps be buggin' give props to Alseides cause she all fly But I can take the heat cause I'm the other white meat known as 'Pyromaniac Guy' Yeah I'm hung like planet Gaia can't see me in the Mystic Moon sky But if I crashed into Uranus I would put it on 'Deep Fry' Cause I'm kind of like Allen Schezar trying to become a dukie I'm the root of all that's evil yeah but you can call me pookie  
  
dragon slayers are dancing back and forth while Dilandau prances about all gangster like with a sideways red and black baseball cap on. He's making various hand gestures, and images of screaming Fanelians are randomly flashing across the screen.  
  
Dragon slayers: The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire We don't need no water let the motherfucker burn Burn motherfucker burn  
  
dragon slayers here go into a geeky dance routine while Dilandau dances around with a flamethrower, torching random things  
  
Dilandau: Yo behind this hard-core pyro is a stud that's oh-so-smokin ' I'm not a cat like Merle is no I'm white like dear old Folken So if man is five and draconians are six than that must make me seven This honkey's gone to heaven But if I go to hell then I hope I burn well I'll spend my days with Gatti, Chesta, Guimel, Dallet, Miguel and Van Fanel And dear old Emperor Dornkirk, Hitomi, Dryden and Millerna and wouldn't you know I'd be stuck with that slutty Allen guy 'cause he's a horny ho.  
  
for a split second the screen switches to Hitomi, who looks shocked and faints into Van's arms, and then switches back to Dilandau  
  
Dragon Slayers: The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire We don't need no water let the motherfucker burn Burn motherfucker burn  
  
Dilandau: Everybody here we go  
  
Dragon Slayers: Ohh Ohh  
  
Dilandau: C'mon party people  
  
Dragon Slayers: Ohh Ohh  
  
Dilandau: Throw your hands in the air  
  
Dragon Slayers: Ohh Ohh  
  
Dilandau: C'mon party people  
  
Dragon Slayers: Ohh Ohh  
  
Dilandau: Wave 'em like you don't care  
  
Dragon Slayers: Ohh Ohh  
  
Dilandau: C'mon party people  
  
Dragon Slayers: Ohh Ohh  
  
Dilandau: Everybody say ho  
  
Dragon Slayers: Ohh Ohh  
  
Dilandau: C'mon party people  
  
Dragon Slayers: Ohh Ohh  
  
Dilandau: Everybody here we go!  
  
Dilandau points his flamethrower at the screen and pulls the trigger and everything goes black.  
#&@%* TECHNICAL DIFFUCULTIES. WE WILL RETURN YOU TO MANGA MUSIC NETWORK AFTER THIS COMMERCIAL BREAK #&!%*  
  
A/N: Well, what think you people? I'm sorry that I modified the lyrics a bit, but it HAD to be done or else it wouldn't have been half as funny. So? Are you going to praise it or torch it? Please review, and, plus, I need another song! So, help! 


	2. That Don't Impress me Much

A/N: Sorry to everybody about the first chapter. my computer freaked out and deleted all the verse enter thingies.. ;;;; ahem. Okay, second music video at Shrike's request: That Don't Impress me Much (original lyrics copyright Shania Twain)  
  
THAT DON'T IMPRESS ME MUCH: by Millerna, Hitomi, Merle, Van, Dryden and Allen.  
  
scene starts out with Millerna circling a nervous Dryden like a hawk. Hitomi is glaring at Allen and Merle looks like she's trying to be mad at Van but not succeeding.  
  
Millerna: I've known a few guys who thought they were pretty smart  
  
But you've got being right down to an art  
  
You think you're a genius--you drive me up the wall  
  
You're a regular original, a know-it-all  
  
Hitomi and Merle:  
  
Oh-oo-oh, you think you're special  
  
Oh-oo-oh, you think you're something else  
  
Millerna: Okay, so you're a genius merchant  
  
That don't impress me much  
  
So you got the brain but have you got the touch?  
  
Just because my father's forcing me to marry you  
  
Doesn't mean that I'm not allowed to have a brain too.  
  
Millerna crosses her arms over her chest and glares.  
  
Millerna: That don't impress me much.  
  
Millerna moves back to stand with Merle and Dryden walks away with an odd little smile on his face. Allen boldly walks forward and Hitomi glares at him and steps forward.  
  
Hitomi:  
  
I never knew a guy who carried a mirror in his pocket  
  
And a comb up his sleeve--just in case  
  
And all that extra hold gel in your hair oughtta lock it  
  
'Cause Heaven forbid it should fall outta place  
  
Millerna and Merle: Oh-oo-oh, you think you're something special  
  
Oh-o-oh, you think you're something else  
  
Hitomi: Okay, so you're Allen Schezar  
  
That don't impress me much  
  
So you got the looks but have you got the touch?  
  
Don't get me wrong, but, you're nothing but a priss  
  
So go ahead and smile at me, and then you should kiss this  
  
Hitomi makes an obscene hand gesture  
  
Hitomi: That don't impress me much.  
  
Allen looks mortified and then runs away crying as Hitomi moves, smirking, to stand with Millerna. Van moves forward and so does Merle, trying to look angry but not doing very well.  
  
Merle: You're one of those guys who likes to shine his machine  
  
You make me take off my shoes before you let me get in  
  
I can't believe you kiss your guymelef good night  
  
C'mon baby tell me--you must be jokin', right!  
  
Millerna and Hitomi: Oh-oo-oh, you think you're something special  
  
Oh-o-oh, you think you're something else  
  
Merle: Okay, so you've got a guymelef  
  
That don't impress me much  
  
So you got the moves but have you got the touch  
  
Don't get me wrong, yeah I think you're alright  
  
But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night  
  
That don't impress me much  
  
You think you're cool but have you got the touch  
  
Don't get me wrong, yeah I think you're alright  
  
But that won't keep me warm on the long, cold, lonely night.  
  
Merle sniffs and Van looks bewildered  
  
Merle: That don't impress me much.  
  
Merle burst out howling in tears and runs away while Van just shrugs and goes to sit by Dryden, looking occasionally up at the girls. Suddenly, Allen comes back in with an obvious attempt at looking like Van, save for the crazy black wig and gold sequined outfit.  
  
Hitomi: Okay, so what do you think you're Van or something...  
  
Allen runs off crying again and Hitomi grins at Millerna.  
  
Millerna: Whatever  
  
Hitomi: That don't impress me.  
  
Music dies away as Hitomi goes running to Van and Millerna stomps prissily away with Dryden trailing behind her like a dog, chattering the whole time.  
  
#&%* END VIDEO #&%*  
  
A/n: okay, in case anyone couldn't tell, Merle was DRAGGED into this entire thing and Van didn't really care, so that's why she was all sniffly ^.~ tee hee!  
  
Disclaimer: I do no own Escaflowne, or Shania Twain's song. Don't come after me, because you won't get anything out of suing me. So, there. 


	3. Should I Stay or Should I Go?

**A/N: **_The third music video. FEEL THE HAPPINESS! AND JOY! AND... such. Okay, this chapter is dedicated to DBS, who will shortly be joining me in psychotic music video fic, and to CinderellaxVan, who gave me the idea of usiong this song. Ha!_  
  
**Disclaimer**: _I don't own the clash, or Escaflowne._  
  
_PROUDLY PRESENTING MISS HITOMI KANZAKI, SINGING SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO BY THE CLASH._  
  
**Should I Stay or Should I Go: **Kanzaki Hitomi.  
  
_Screen shows Hitomi wearing too much eyeliner and looking like a punk-rock chick wearing a navy blue care bears hoodie. The music starts up and she begins strumming on her guitar._  
  
**Hitomi:**   
Darling you gotta let me know  
Should I stay or should I go?  
If you say that you are mine  
I'll be here 'til the end of time  
So you got to let know  
Should I stay or should I go?  
  
_Hitomi glances at a picture of Van and then looks away_  
  
**Hitomi:**  
Always fight fight fight  
You're only happy when you're right  
You're constantly getting colder  
So if you want me off your shoulder  
Well come on and let me know  
Should I Stay or should I go?  
  
_An image of Hitomi sitting on Escaflowne's shoulder and pointing at invisible enemies from Zaibach appears on the screen, and as we watch Van slice them apart Hitomi's voice echoes through._**  
  
Hitomi:**  
Should I stay or should I go now?  
Should I stay or should I go now?  
If I go there will be trouble  
An' if I stay it will be double  
So come on and let me know  
Should I stay or should I go?  
  
_Screen flashes back to Hitomi, who is now sitting on Escaflowne's shoulder, sucking a lollypop with her knees turned inwards and singing._  
  
**Hitomi:**  
This indecision's bugging me  
If you don't want me, set me free  
Exactly who'm I'm supposed to be  
Don't you know the proper way to treat me?  
Come on and let me know  
Should I cool it or should I blow?  
_  
Fanelia is shown blowing up, and then the screen randomly switches from Hitomi on the guitar to Hitomi singing on Escaflowne's shoulder to Hitomi and Van fighting- verbally, of course._  
  
**Hitomi:**  
Should I stay or should I go now?  
If I go there will be trouble  
And if I stay it will be double  
So you gotta let me know  
Should I stay or should I go?  
  
_Hitomi is shown in the blue pillar of light being sucked back to Earth reaching out to Van, who is running after her. The screen goes blank.  
  
  
_

**@#$% END VIDEO@#$%  
**

  
A/N: _Well? What do you think? Please review! What happy yet frightening suprises await us in the next video? We'll be back after this commercial break._


	4. American Psycho

**A/N**: _Hey there! This fourth song, which is, in my opinion, the very best, is by none other than Dillys-Best-Slayer, a dilandau fanatic who worked very hard on this *waves spatula threateningly.* It's bloody bril, and please let us know what you think!!!  
_  
**Disclaimer**: _Neither Azure or DBS own Escaflowne or Eminem. So shut up._  
  
**AMERICAN PSYCHO:** By Dilly and the Dragon Slayers  
  
_ Screen opens up to Dilandau mostly in shadow, looking very scary but also very sexy._  
  
**Dilandau: **  
Two Dragon Slayer boys blow round the empire, round the empire, round the empire.   
Two Dragon Slayer boys blow round the empire, round the empire, round the empire.   
  
_ The dragon slayers begin graffitiing and VAN SUCKS! on a large grey brick wall._  
  
**Dragon Slayers: **  
Guess who's back. Back again. Dilly's back. Tell a friend. Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back   
....Nanana na na na na na na nanana na na na na-   
  
_ Dilandau is sitting on a fire escape above his men, dropping spray cans down to them. He crosses his arms and begins to rap._  
  
**Dilandau:**   
I've created disaster, cuz no one wants to   
see Fanelia no more, they want fire. I'm a killer.   
Well, if you want fire, this is what I'll give ya   
The city in ashes will make Van shiver   
lighter fluid'll jumpstart my mind quicker then a   
shock when I get shocked in the Vione by sorcerors wwhen I'm not cooperating   
cuz i'm trying to escape while they're operating   
you waited this long, so please stop fighting   
I'm back, and I've got lots of fires to be lighting   
Just sit and think, Van, of all the people I'll be frying!   
So Smokey the Bear won't let me be, let me be me, pyro and crazy.   
Everyone thought I was done, ya see.   
But it feels so icy without me.   
  
_ Footage of Dilandau torching Fanelia is shown, and then Dilandau's face appears in the middle._  
  
**Dilandau:**  
So try and run, stop drop and roll cuz this place is about to blow so ya better get ready for the flames from Hell.   
Just got a new flamethrower. PREPARE TO DIE, FANEL!   
  
_ The screen switches back to Dilandau, who is graffiitiing flames on the wall with the Dragonslayers._  
  
**Dilandau:**  
Now fire is a part of me   
So everybody, can't ya see   
that we need a little scorching heat   
cuz it feels so icy without me   
  
Said fire is a part of me   
So everybody, can't ya see   
that we need a little scorching heat   
cuz it feels so icy without me   
  
_ Dilandau is back on the fire escape. Sirens echo in the distance, but he ignores it._  
  
**Dilandau:**  
Folken Fanel, feeling a little disloyal   
his hometown's gone, all that's left is soil.   
Feels like he's a prisoner, helpless 'til Dornkirk says he's done well and that Hitomi's still a bitch!   
A mercinary, Zongi is scary. Killed Miguel out of orders from Folken, but it wasn't necessary.   
So I punished him. He died in a snap *screen shows how Zongi died*, Hitomi knew that he would   
It's too late. He's one now, into an unknown tomb.   
Who cares? That damn doppleganger.   
He had to go and kill another soldier.   
It's detesting. The worst thing since wrestling.   
Fake fighting. Got a great impression. *Punches the air a foot from Chesta's head, and he pretends to be KO'd*   
Testing *Attention Please* Looking at the intercom, cuz Folken called me   
He tells me not to harm another city   
I'll just use this flamethrower to fry the citizenry!   
  
_ Again, more images of Fanelia burning._  
  
**Dilandau:**  
Now fire is a part of me   
So everybody, can't ya see   
that we need a little scorching heat   
cuz it feels so icy without me   
  
Said fire is a part of me   
So everybody, can't ya see   
that we need a little scorching heat   
cuz it feels so icy without me   
  
_ Dragon slayers and Dilandau run away as cop cars pull up, and they dash through the headlights into a dark side alley._  
**  
Dragon Slayers: **  
Na na na na na. Na na na na na. Na na na na na. Na na na na. Na na na na na. Na na na na na. Na na na na na. Na na na na.   
  
**Dilandau: **  
Yeah!  
  
_ Finally, Dilandau hops up into his Guymelef and runs around in burning random people/buildings. The dragon slayers follow, and the screen goes black._  
  
  


**@#$% END VIDEO @#$%**  


  
**A/n:** _and oh, what a wonderful video from Dillys-Best-Slayer! Lets have a round of applause, and another video will be up after this short (or possibly incredibly long) break._


	5. The Devil Went Down to Georgia

**A/N: **_*evil laughter* muahahahaha! This is a random little something I thought up while listening to Devil went down to Georgia by the Charlie Daniels band... heh heh. So, here's for our unexpected characters.... DORNKIRK and FOLKEN!! Prouldly presenting: The Devil Went Down to Georgia.  
  
_**Disclaimer:**_ I do not own Escaflowne or the Charlie Daniels band. LoL.  
_  
**Devil Went Down to Georgia**: by Dornkirk, Folken, and the Zaibach Empire  
  
_screen opens up to Folken sitting on Dornkirk's gigantic life support machiene playing a fiddle. Dornkirk doesn't look very happy and is trying to zoom off the screen only to be pushed back in by the backstage crew._  
  
**Folken:**  
Dornkirk went down to Gaia-  
He was looking for a fate to seal   
He was in a bind cause he was way behind   
And he was willing to make a deal   
When he came across this young man   
Sawing on a fiddle and playing it hot   
Dornkirk jumped up on a hickony stump   
And said, "Boy" let me tell you what   
I guess you didn't know it   
But I'm a fiddle player too   
And if you'd care to take a dare   
I'll make a bet with you   
Now you played pretty good fiddle,boy   
But give dear Dornkirk his due   
I bet the safety of your nation against your station   
Cause I think I'm better than you   
  
_Dornkirk looks grumpy but picks up in time anyway.  
_  
**Dornkirk:  
**The boy said "My name's Folken   
And it might be a sin   
But I'll take you bet, your gonna regret   
Cause I'm the best that's ever been"   
Folken raising up your bow   
And play your fiddle hard   
Cause hell's broke loose in Gaia   
And Dornkirk deals the cards   
And if you win   
You get a high-ranking sation   
But if you lose, say goodbye your nation   
  
_Folken grins and strikes a chord across his fiddle_  
  
**Folken:**  
Dornkirk opened up his case   
And he said "I'll start this show"   
And fire flew from his finger tips   
As he raised up his bow   
And he pulled the bow across the strings   
And it made a evil hiss   
Then a band of demons joined in   
And it sounded something like this :  
  
_Dilandau and the dragon slayers are shown clanging pots and pans together happily. Dornkirk glares at them and Dilandau looks ashamed. He presses the play' button on a stereo and squawky fiddle music comes out. Dornkirk puts down his fiddle and looks proud._  
  
**Dornkirk:**  
When Dornkirk finished Folken said   
Well you're, pretty good old son   
But sit down in that chair right there   
And let me show you how it's done   
  
_As Folken begins to play, the people of Zaibach drop what they're doing and start running away, screaming, from a nearby mountain, where the Dragonslayers are lighting things on fire. Over the sound of the screaming they can be heard singing._  
  
**Dragon Slayers:**  
Fire on the mountain, run boys run   
Dornkirk's in the house of the rising sun   
Dragons in the break pan picking at dough   
Allen does your bird bite no child no   
  
_Folken raises one eyebrow at the Dragonslayers antics but resumes singing._  
  
**Folken:**  
Dornkirk bowed his head   
Because he knew that he'd been beat-  
  
_Dornkirk looks grumpy and cuts in._  
  
**Dornkirk:**  
And then he made Folken Strategos   
Commander of the Zaibach fleet   
Folken said "Dornkirk just come on back   
If you ever want to try again   
Cause I told you once, you son of bitch   
I'm the best that's ever been" he played  
  
_Dragon Slayers begin burning set and frantic backstage people are seen trying to put the fire out with pails of water.  
_  
**Dragon Slayers:**  
Fire on the mountain, run boys run   
Dornkirk's in the house of the rising sun   
Dragons in the break pan picking at dough   
Allen does your bird bite no child no   
  
_The fire makes its way to the camera and everything goes black.  
  
  
_

**@#$% END VIDEO @#$%  
**

  
A/N:_ Well, that was pretty fun to write. Fwahahaha! Anywhoo, please review. I'd love to hear from all you crazy people! Luv n stuff-  
^.~ Azure_


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